A laugh-out-loud and heartfelt take on prayer. Why do we call God only in trouble? Is faith about gratitude, or are we just throwing tantrums at the universe?

I’m not just a walking disaster zone—I’m the whole emergency broadcast system. I forget deadlines like goldfish forget their own reflection, take shortcuts that could send a GPS into cardiac arrest, and say things so outlandish that even my grandma would spontaneously combust. Naturally, when my genius plans backfire, who do I call? God.

“God, please fix this mess!” I plead, like I’ve accidentally pressed the wrong button on life’s remote control and need Him to reset the universe. If He doesn’t? Well, then it’s obviously His fault. “Why, God? Why didn’t You stop me? You were supposed to have my back!” Meanwhile, He’s probably watching with a facepalm, thinking, “I gave you free will, not free passes.”

And when life is smooth? Oh, then I’m too busy enjoying the ride. Unless, of course, there are free samosas at the temple. In that case, I’m practically an Olympic sprinter, chanting prayers at the speed of light while plotting how many samosas I can stuff into my pockets.

Trouble’s Redecoration Project

Trouble doesn’t just knock on my door—it storms in, kicks over the furniture, paints the walls with existential dread, and starts charging rent I can’t afford. Life doesn’t merely throw lemons at me; it hurls them like a baseball pitcher on steroids. And there I am, sucker-punched and gasping, “God, help me!”

For years, I prayed for world peace and happiness for everyone. A noble sentiment, right? But once trouble started redecorating my life in shades of misery, my prayers became hyper-focused: “God, forget the world for a second. It’s me who needs saving!”

Selfish? Maybe. Necessary? Absolutely.

The Big Question: Does God Have a Customer Service Line?

Sometimes, I wonder if God even exists. If He does, why isn’t He answering the helpline? The world’s on fire—literally and figuratively—and He’s on silent mode. But then I stop and think: am I being fair? I’m quick to blame Him for the bad, but do I ever thank Him for the good?

Ha! Gratitude. That’s rich. I’m the reigning champion of complaints, the Picasso of pessimism, the Shakespeare of sulking. “Thank you” rarely makes it past my lips. I act like God’s customer service agent, filing complaints without ever submitting a positive review. If I were Him, I’d block me by now.

Faith Isn’t a Cosmic SOS Button

Here’s the thing: I treat God like my personal crisis hotline. But what if faith isn’t about demanding solutions? What if it’s about finding peace in the chaos? Maybe God isn’t there to fix everything but to help us see the beauty in what’s already there—yes, even when life feels like a giant lemon tree.

I can almost hear God muttering under His breath, “For crying out loud, humans! Stop blaming Me for your bad choices. I gave you free will so you could think, not so you could outsource your problems to Me!” Honestly, He’s got a point.

The Cosmic Tantrum

So here’s where I’m at: I pray when I’m in trouble. I complain when things don’t go my way. And I forget to say “thank you” when life is good. Basically, I’m the spiritual equivalent of a toddler throwing a tantrum in the cosmic toy store.

But is there a better way? Can prayer be more than an SOS call? Can it become a conversation—a way to connect, reflect, and grow? Or am I destined to keep running to God like a panicked customer returning a defective product called “my life”?

The Million-Dollar Question

What about you? Do you find yourself dialing God’s number only when you’re in trouble? Or have you figured out how to turn prayer into something deeper? Let me know in the comments. Maybe, just maybe, we can all learn to stop throwing tantrums and start saying “thank you.”