Think back on your most memorable road trip.

Last summer, I set out from Waterloo with big dreams of pretty lakes and peaceful woods in Algonquin Park. The route was straightforward: Highway 401 East, then Highway 11 North. Easy, right?

But Brenda, my GPS, had other plans. “Take the next exit,” she said—too soon. Trusting her, I obeyed. Big mistake.

Suddenly, I was on a dirt road surrounded by cows and cornfields. “This is not the park,” I muttered, but Brenda insisted, “Proceed.” I proceeded—straight into the middle of nowhere.

Then I saw another sign: Haliburton.
“Haliburton?” I yelled at Brenda. “No, Brenda, NO!”

I turned again. And again. More trees. More dirt roads. Fewer hopes of ever seeing civilization. At one point, I half-expected to find Bigfoot waving me down for directions.

Eventually, I stumbled upon a sign that read: Welcome to Haliburton Highlands.

This was not a welcome. This was a taunt. This was the universe laughing in my face.

After hours of wandering like a budget Indiana Jones, I finally found the park. The sign said, “You’re here.” I cheered! Then I paused. Wait. Where is ‘here?’

Lessons Learned:

1. Your GPS is not your friend. It’s a trickster.
2. Bring a real map. Preferably one made in this century.
3. Learn to use a compass. No, seriously, practice before you go.
4. Expect to get lost. Laugh about it. Or cry. Either works.
5. Pack snacks. Enough for a week.
6. Consider giving up and becoming one with the forest.

P.S. Go to Algonquin Park. It’s beautiful. But also, maybe just stay home. It’s safer.