Shoes. The unsung heroes of human existence. Once upon a time, they symbolized adventure, freedom, and, if you were rich enough, a desperate need to flex. Now? They are nothing more than overpriced foot prisons, clinging to our soles as we shuffle through the mess we call “modern civilization.”

My favorite pair? Oh, let me tell you. These legendary relics have seen things—things no footwear should ever witness. They have carried me through grocery stores where eggs are treated like luxury items, gas stations where the price per liter makes me question capitalism, and sidewalks littered with QR codes asking for digital payments because apparently, cash is now a myth.

They have bravely trudged through malls where sales scream “50% off” but somehow cost more than before, through job interviews where the real question is, “Can AI do this better?” and through social gatherings where people debate which apocalypse will hit first—climate, economy, or AI overlords.

Oh, and let’s not forget their noble sacrifice in airport security lines, where they are yanked off, humiliated, and scanned for crimes they did not commit. Yet, they persist. Because they understand the greatest truth of our time: It’s not about where you’re going. It’s about surviving the trip.

So, dear shoes, I salute you. May your soles stay strong, even when the world crumbles beneath them.