What snack would you eat right now?

I set the timer to ‘too late to apologize’ and the temperature to ‘burning shame.’ They came out a little overcooked, especially the one where I enthusiastically waved back at someone across the street, only to realize they were hailing a taxi. I still cringe remembering the driver’s confused stare. I even tried dipping them in denial, but it couldn’t mask the unmistakable stench of awkwardness. At least they’re crunchy, unlike my confidence after that incident.

Maybe next time, I’ll sprinkle a little self-awareness seasoning before tossing them in the fryer.

I’ve got a whole menu of these to air fry. There’s the time I thought replying ‘LOL’ to a serious text would lighten the mood (spoiler alert: it did not). Or the unforgettable flavor of that one haircut that made me look like a rejected boy band member from 2003.

They say air frying makes everything healthier, but I’m not sure how much roasting my own life decisions is improving me. Still, it’s better than eating my feelings raw. They’re way too chewy that way.